No one ever accuses American policy makers of being ahead of the curve. In fact, they are often decades behind it, especially when it comes to the economic reality for millions of families. A good case in point is our national caregiving policies. What few we actually have are mostly mired in the 1950’s mythology of a two-parent family where Dad goes off to a 40-hour living wage job and Mom stays at home caring for the children, keeping a perfect House Beautiful, with every hair in sprayed firmly into place.

However, in the 21st Century real America of 2016, working parents are the norm, stay-at-home mothers are a minority, and juggling how to meet the needs of children while making ends meet is the daily reality.

Let’s take a quick look at that new “normal.” Seven in ten mothers are working in this country. In fact, 64 percent of women with children under the age of 6 are in the paid labor force (it was 39 percent in 1975). Most of these working mothers are doing so out of economic necessity, in an economy which does very little to help these families balance their work-life responsibilities. (Note that work always comes first in this phrase!)

Caregiving makes life not only possible, but it plays a critical role in determining the quality of that life. Everyone needs care at some point in their lives and often at multiple times. Much of that caregiving is un- or under-paid. Even when the caregiver is paid, it is usually for a low, non-living wage. And there is often a gender component to caregiving.

Those last two points are closely connected. Anything that is seen as women’s work – which caregiving clearly is – is undervalued in our economy. In fact, much of caregiving is part of the underground economy – that part of the economy that never makes it into the GDP.

The underground or shadow economy – activities, both legal and illegal – add up to trillions of dollars a year that take place “off the books,” out of the gaze of taxmen and government statisticians. The real crime being committed in unpaid caregiving is how the giver is uncompensated for her time and lost opportunities.

There are over 43 million adults in the United States who provide unpaid care to an adult or a child annually. This amounts to an estimated 36 billion unpaid hours of care for just adults. Juggling between the demands of their own job, or sacrificing their job completely, these caregivers are as vulnerable as those they serve. Even those who can afford paid caregiving are saddled with high costs.

Here in New York State, there are more than 2.2 million informal caregivers; we rank third in the nation. In New York City, domestic work forms the “invisible backbone” of the economy and is a workforce that is almost entirely comprised of immigrants, people of color and women.

Let’s look at some numbers from a recent Center for American Progress report:

The Cost of Work-Family Policy Inaction looked at Quantifying the Costs Families Currently Face as a Result of Lacking U.S. Work-Family Policies:

The lack of federal work-family policies in the United States marks the nation as an extreme outlier among other advanced economies. Unlike every other wealthy country in the world, the United States does not guarantee workers the right to paid maternity leave, nor does it guarantee the right to paid leave for any reason at all. Worse still, families in the United States pay a significantly higher price for child care than families in most other comparable economies. This lack of investment in policies to support U.S. working families depresses labor force participation, holds back economic growth, and has negative impacts on families’ well-being.

Every year, as our new analysis shows, working families in the United States lose out on at least $28.9 billion in lost wages because they lack access to affordable child care and paid family and medical leave. This hidden cost includes $8.3 billion in lost wages due to a lack of child care and $20.6 billion in lost wages due to a lack of access to paid family and medical leave.

Measurements of lost wages help demonstrate that there are costs to not having federal policies in place to address issues like affordable child care and paid family and medical leave. While families are often all too aware of the direct costs for goods and services, policymakers rarely address or take into account the hidden costs from lost wages in as great of detail. Policymakers simply cannot create effective work-family policies until they better understand the full costs to working families.

Let’s examine Child Care in more detail: Nearly half of American households with an employed mother and a child under 5 reported using a paid child-care provider, according to a July report on the economics of child care by the non-partisan public policy research organization, Committee for Economic Development. Yet many families are unable to access affordable care.

“The average weekly cost of care roughly doubled in current dollars between 1997 and 2011”, the report stated. “And yet, the share of households receiving assistance from any source to pay for child care declined from 7.3% in 2005 to 6.4% in 2011 (according to the most recent data).”

The average cost of center-based infant care in New York State is $14,508 per year ($16,250 in NYC) – twice the cost of college tuition. Diminished funding, increasing numbers of low wage workers and increasing market rates have strained the capacity of New York State’s low income child care program(s) to provide funding for all eligible low income working families.

There is an almost invisible component to all of this, as well. There are an estimated 2.7 million grandparents in the U.S. who have the responsibility of taking care of their grandchildren. Grandfamilies are families headed by grandparents and other relatives who share their homes with their grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and/or other related children. About 7.8 million children across the country live in households headed by grandparents or other relatives. Grandparents who take on full responsibility may lack legal custody preventing access to basic services, and others may experience financial problems or may have limited retirement resources.

Which offers a good transition to Elder Care: Statistics show that many people do not – and often can not – adequately plan for retirement, and there are unanticipated events that further complicate the problem. One of the biggest issues is the need to provide care for an older family member. According to an AARP Caregiving report, as many as 1 in 6 working-age women are providing unpaid elder care; often these caregivers stop working or work shorter hours in their paid jobs. This not only reduces their current income, but also they could have smaller 401(k) balances and lower Social Security income.

Four million Americans will turn 65 annually, and by 2050, 27 million will require some form of support or long-term care. Anyone who has fallen into the “Sandwich Generation” – those who are caring for competing generations – children and/or grandchildren, a spouse, and/or a parent – feels the caregiving pinch.

This Catch 22 is particularly felt by women. During their working years, women tend to earn less than men, and when they retire, they’re more likely to live in poverty. These are women who raised children and cared for sick and elderly family members, often taking what savings and income they had and spending it on things besides their own retirement security.

So, ask the candidates for office in the elections you will be deciding this November about their stand on caregiving issues – child care, elder care, etc. See if their economic priorities – and proposed solutions – match yours before you enter the voting booth!